Self-Cultivating

“Compassion-

Once you’ve seen the face of god,

You see that same face on everyone you meet.”

I wrote yesterday about having feelings of authentic acceptance of others and their individual uniqueness as a foundation of building relationships. Upon reflection, I wonder if having compassion for others is what I meant by feeling authentic acceptance of others. I’ve reminded myself that it is one of my core beliefs that living in a better world starts with an appreciation of the connectedness or oneness of all things, it builds with feelings of compassion for all things, and it is renewed through awareness, mindful practice, and being in nature. Self-cultivation is a continuing upward journey that begins with a decision to embark on the journey. By reflecting on these topics, I self-cultivate! I look for clarity through reflection and meditation… in nature. So today, a new day to begin again, I’ve included a three insightful morning meditations (one listed above) from Deng Ming-Dao’s “365 Tao – Daily Meditations”.

Beginning-

This is the moment of embarking.

All auspicious signs are in place.

To connect strongly with our inner selves, we must first decide to commit to daily self-cultivation. In order to start, we must first decide.

Once we decide, all things come to us. Auspicious signs are not a superstition, but a confirmation. They are a response. Even the mountains and valleys will reverberate to the sound of our purpose.

Renewal-

City on a hill,

Untouched land beyond.

A fallow field is

The secret of fertility.

In nature, we find the nurturing quality of freedom… new possibilities without social impositions. We need time to fallow. None of us can maintain the fertility of our beings without renewal. Our survival depends on the preservation of the wilds.

The ABC’s of Building Relationships

For me, writing helps me reflect on what’s going on NOW in my life. It also helps me reflect on what I’ve learned RECENTLY in my life. The reflection helps me be a part of the change that is happening; it helps me re-connect with my authentic inner-self and my inter-connectedness with all that is going on around me; and (in this blog) it helps me document my “Learning from Living…Living by Learning” vision.

I’ve been writing in this blog for about 2 years now. Looking back and reading many of the posts, I am reminded of the change, the learning, and the desire to live my “vision” in whatever I do. I am reminded of my path… and my way of being.

A year ago, I was working to bring my values-based vision for success to the place I worked. I tried to create a systematic approach to implementing a new vision for a “mountain sports” school at a large ski resort here in Vermont. As I look back on my notes, and as I look back on my blog articles, I am reminded again of a set of personal values that seem to be consistent…

For kicks, here is an outline of the “systematic approach” I started to work on last year. I think the ABC’s listed at the bottom of the outline may provide a good foundation for any relationship-building process. What do you think?

Lately, I have been focusing on acceptance. I find that a person’s tendency to compare their own personal experience (and perspective) when listening to another person often forms the basis of judgment, a roadblock to authentic acceptance of the other person’s uniqueness and a potential barrier for heartfelt, trusting and empowering relationships. Do supportive relationships and communities start with feelings of authentic acceptance of others (in addition to ourselves)?

As I look to enhance my coaching and teaching careers and enhance the relationships I build with others, I remind myself that practicing these ABC’s are a good place to start. Accepting each person for who they are, with their own special uniqueness and talents, and having an understanding of their perspective, personal experience and vision, forms the basis any supportive relationship… especially if it’s as a coach, teacher, or mentor. Yes?

The New Way: A Systematic Program Approach to Creating Enriching Educational Experiences

(March 2013 notes: Goal- To create a vision for a program identity, to create program consistency; to provide a basis for program training, success, and measurable improvement.)

Assumptions:

People come to our resort to find health and happiness in a Vermont mountain setting;

Reducing the stresses of day-to-day living, and finding peace in the moment, is fundamental to health and happiness;

Having an attitude of learning, being open to trying new experiences (change happens), is fundamental to health and happiness;

Being in nature enhances feelings of health, happiness, and present-moment awareness;

Learning happens naturally when people feel safe, have fun, and are motivated to try new experiences;

Active experiential learning in non-judgmental setting facilitates present-moment awareness.

Key Components of Outdoor Educational Experiences:

Adventure-based: Create sense of excitement and fun, promoting mountain sports environment;

Strengths-based: Focus on positive attributes of individuals and group dynamics promoting positive learning environment;

Skills-based: Reflect on learning of specific skills that are relevant, practical, and transferable to everyday lives;

Stress-reducing: Create awareness of, and teach, mindfulness-based, stress-reducing skills and practices;

Relationship-building: Facilitate supportive atmosphere; develop sense of community & connections between people;

Experiential: Continuous learning cycles of brief (foreshadow); experience (do activity); debrief (reflection). Learning is facilitated and guided, not judged, and is based on group goals, relevancy, and activity outcomes;

Outdoors in Nature: Take advantage of natural beauty and Vermont mountain setting;

Holistic: Recognize connections of total body and mind and integrate programs accordingly;

Life-changing: Strive for health and happiness experiences that change perspectives, build knowledge and abilities, develop sense of purpose and achievement, and encourage on-going learning, transferable skills, and loyal guests.

Relationship-Building Process:

A-           Acceptance: Have friendly attitude of authentic acceptance- all are welcome without judgment or comparison!

B-           Belonging: Make guests feel like they belong there- get to know them; make them feel safe and welcome;

C-           Community: Facilitate guests getting to know one another, building a trusting and supportive atmosphere;

D-           Dignity: Create community of mutual respect and understanding, inter-dependence and accountability, and recognize with praise (and a sense of gratitude) the strengths and contributions of each individual;

E-            Empowerment: Empower guests to improve their lives (health and happiness), to learn, to achieve, to just be!

Hopi Prophecy

The following was sent to me from Biff Mithoefer –

author of “The Yin Yoga Kit – The Practice of Quiet Power” –

another person I will now call Mentor. 

Hopi Prophecy:

You have been telling the people that this is the Eleventh Hour.

Now you must go back and tell them that this is the Hour!

And there are things to be considered:

Where are you living?

What are you doing?

What are your relationships?

Are you in the right relation?

Where is your water?

Know your garden.

It is time to speak your Truth.
Create your community.

Be good to each other.

And do not look outside yourself for the leader.

This could be a good time!

There is a river flowing now very fast.

It is so great and swift that there are those who will be afraid.

They will try to hold onto the shore.

They will feel they are being torn apart, and they will suffer greatly.

Know the river has its destination.

The Elders say we must let go of the shore, push off into the middle of the river,

Keep our eyes open and our heads above water.

See who is in there with you and celebrate.

At this time in history, we are to take nothing personally. Least of all, ourselves.

For the moment that we do, our spiritual growth and journey come to a halt.

The journey of the lone wolf is over.

Gather yourselves.

Banish the word struggle from your attitude and vocabulary.

All that we do now must be done in a sacred manner and in celebration.

We are the ones we have been waiting for.

Training Myself to Be Me

Practicing mindfulness is like training your muscles to be stronger.

I know that if I give attention to my physical body by focusing on my intention to make it stronger and more athletic, it takes effort (energy) and repetition. As my training changes, my body learns to adapt. My physical body changes.

I now know that if I give attention to my whole self by focusing my intention to be my authentic self, it takes effort (energy) and repetition. As my life experiences change, my inner being learns to adapt. My neurological systems change.

This is the practice of mindfulness. This is the path towards living my life of possibility, passion, and integrity. Just like I train my body, I can train my inner being to be my naturally awesome self.

I spent last week with two teachers: Coby “Noel” Kozlowski (www.cobyk.com) and Terry Fralich (www.mindfulnesscenter.org). I learned skills to cultivate my positive, natural state of being; I learned more about myself and being myself. I realized that I’ve recently let my “roles in life” define my vision of me, rather than letting my various roles be a vehicle for expressing the real me. I realized that when my role is in a typical business environment of competition, comparison, and judgment, I can still be the natural me who cooperates, collaborates, and accepts. And better yet, I saw a path for practicing my life more in tune with being me. Upon reflection, I drew the following mental model:

The model just allows me to put some meaning to what I learned… it’s basically a rope with a core “being”, directed towards an end “vision”, wrapped with various roles in life, and intertwined with others (all connected). It is intended to remind me that my life is an experiment in which I will learn to fully express my naturally awesome self through a mindfulness-based yoga and meditation practice… with intention, awareness, attention (energy), and repetition… and a realization that this practice for me is deeply connected to my vision (dharma), my interaction with others (community), and my connection to the miracles of our natural environment (Universe).

In all of this, I train myself to bear greater adversity.

Yoga is the practice of tolerating the consequences of being me!

Renewing Personal Vision

For years, I’ve written the following personal vision on top of my resume:

Live an adventurous life that is meaningful for society, inspirational for those around me, and true to my heart. Share my love for the mountains and the outdoor environment. Help others discover health and happiness, and ways to live better. Be engaged in work that stimulates my skills and strengths, and fulfills my desire to learn, to lead, and to do what’s right.

Yesterday, I spent my last day on a job that was supposed to be in fulfillment of this vision: director of a mountain sports school. Perfect, right? But I found myself behind the computer running the business operations of a $5+ million revenue center. In the past 14 months, I was outside participating and leading adventurous activities less than I had in my previous 40 years in the business of ski and snowboard coaching and outdoor leadership. I was impacting culture and helping others discover health and happiness, yes, but the job took away the best of me for whatever reason, I lost my stimulation and inspiration, and I decided it was time to move on.

In my mind, I was going to give the job two years, enough time to develop new programs, facilitate changes, train and inspire replacements, and re-evaluate. When I stood up to speak at the returning staff orientation meeting last week, I realized I was a shell of who I am. I remembered that life is precious and too important to waste time not feeling “like me” (especially after enduring family struggles and losses in previous months and years). Because I didn’t make it through my personal goal of two years, and because I have let down those who believed in me, I have been dealing with feelings of remorse, second-guessing, and self-doubt.

But today, like other days in my past when my mind doubted my purpose and my capability to succeed, I took to physical challenge. I said to myself, “I am a person who has competed in triathlons; rode my bicycle over 200 miles in a day, twice; rode on a mountain-bike tandem with my wife about 500 miles in a week and over the continental divide twice; received advanced degrees from prestigious institutions, in engineering nonetheless, and built successful businesses; and I have endured the heartbreak of tragic events and the struggles of people close to me. I can get through this! I am a warrior!”

So, I got up this morning and in the space of one hour, I did 100 pull-ups, 100 weighted barbell squats with 225 pounds, 100 push-ups, and 50 dips. Now, this might not sound that great for some of you. But, I am almost 56 years old and I have spent the last 14 months behind a desk or traveling in a car, my body fat percentage has doubled, my weight has increased, my stress-level was off-the-charts, and my cardio conditioning is the worst its ever been!

But today, I am back in the game! Looking for my next work, my next ways to fulfill my personal vision, yes, but realizing again that I can do anything I decide, anything that I want to do! For me, there is something in my sense of integrity that requires  me to be my authentic me, inspiring others through real-life, walk-the-walk, personal inspiration and self-discovery, global impact through local action, and role-modeling positivity.

Thanks to the people in my life who continue to inspire me!